I’ve recently come to the conclusion that some of my plans for this year and the future will need to be put on hold. It’s depressing, but I don’t have much of a choice right now.
In This post I listed my resolutions for 2012, one of them being that I take part in and complete the 52 Books Challenge. I took a bit of a break in order to read and help edit some friends’ novel drafts, and I still haven’t finished that. In truth, it’s become draining to take part in this challenge with work and school taking up so much of my time, and proofreading drafts takes up more time and effort than simply reading them. Finding a new book, and reading it in its entirety before the week became up, was starting to become a chore for me. I’m of the opinion that when something that was once enjoyable turns into a task that must be completed, it’s time to give it a break. I’ll come back and read one book per week as soon as a graduate, which will be in one month.
With graduation comes another sacrifice I’ll have to take. Living in south Florida, for those who are unaware, is almost prohibitively expensive. A studio apartment in the worst parts of town can go for $550 a month or more. My loan payments, when they kick in, will set me back about the same amount. I won’t be able to afford both on my own. So when I graduate, I’ll be moving back in with my family in Port Saint Lucie, about two hours north of where I am now.
It’s depressing because it still feels like I’m giving up in a sense, and that I can’t handle the pressures of the real world. I’ll be a twenty-one year old college graduate who’s worked harder than some of my former bosses, and still unable to make it on my own. Even reading has become a challenge for me. But that’s the reality of my situation. I have to come to the realization that sacrifices don’t always mean giving up, it means looking at the cards I’ve been dealt and making the best of them.
Now I’m given more time to focus on my final classes and my job, before I have to say goodbye to both.