Weekend Writing Warriors: Ascended 2

Another excerpt from Ascended.  I made amazing progress on Thursday when I had a break from work, writing nearly 7,000 words.  I’m still behind on my wordcount goals, but I have plenty of time to catch up.

It’s simple and fun. Sign the linky, then on Sunday, post 8 sentences from a current writing project, published or unpublished. Visit other participants and offer opinions, critiques, support. Writers hanging out with writers, a good time with a great group of people.

In my last post I touched on the hostility of Sunforge citizens toward refugees from Shipwreck Island.  Sallei Corvus may be preparing to marry the Lord of Sunforge, but the citizens have not forgotten who she is or where she was born.  This excerpt introduces Foreman Zander, who is the main antagonist of the story.  He is a foreman in one of Sunforge’s arms factories and member of the emerging middle class.

Some snipping has been made to fit the 8-sentence structure and help the excerpt flow better.

“You appear to be lost, my lady,” a voice said behind her.  “These streets are no place for someone like you.”

Sallei turned.  Peering from behind the stationary [automaton] was a man … easily large enough to match the intimidating machine.  He placed a hand on the [automaton’s] shoulder and smiled.  “At least you brought yourself a bodyguard,” he said.  […]

“It’s not here to defend me,” Sallei said.  “Are you suggesting that I need protection?”

This is probably one of my favorite scenes so far.  Everything that Zander has said to Sallei at his point has the hint of a veiled threat in it.  It displays his feeling of superiority toward Sallei and her people, and at the same time his knowledge that he is lower in the pecking order.

4 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Ascended 2

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