Because I’m running out of buzzworthy 8-sentence excerpts from Jasper, at least until I pick up the manuscript and add more content, this week for WeWriWa I’ll focus on a short story I’ve also been working on.
It’s simple and fun. Sign the linky list with your name, blog url and email address on Mondays, 8:00 AM EST. Each week, the list remains open until Saturday, 11:59 PM. Then on Sunday, post 8 sentences from a current writing project, published or unpublished. Visit other participants and offer opinions, critiques, support. Writers hanging out with writers, a good time with a great group of people.
Deferment is a story about Cassie, a young woman swamped with student debt and tired of being taken advantage of by a loan provider that seems hell-bent on financially ruining her. Its setting is not unlike the current climate for modern college students/graduates with heavy debt, but I’ve taken it up a notch for the sake of this story. My intention is partially hyperbolic, and partially political in that it’s a warning of just how far many corporations will go if given free reign.
The following are the first eight sentences:
“I felt the walls would close in on me as I sat. This lawyer took up residence in a room that looked and felt more like a closet than a true office. The room was also too warm, stuffy, and smelled of dust. Was he not given access to air conditioning or a cleaning service? Or an office where one could breathe? Perhaps this lawyer was deemed not important enough for such luxuries. Just as well; all of the better lawyers I had contacted before him shooed me out within five minutes.”
Interesting premise. I definitely got the closed in, stuffy feel of that room! Excellent excerpt…
Thanks!
She trying to fight the debt collectors?
That’s correct – thanks for posting!
It says quite a bit about her that she know she’s not with a great lawyer. Interesting idea
Thank you!
Really strong sense of character and atmosphere. It drew me in and left me wanting to read more.
You’ve painted the perfect picture of desperation. I have a feeling she’s tough. Good writing.
Great descriptions. Really nice POV, I felt like I was right in the character’s mind.
Really like how you’ve described the room…seems to echo her situation. Worried for her!